I dont know why every time Mr. leaves the counrty, I being alone, will try to find all ways to go out. But at the end of the day, will end up staying in the house with my 2 beautiful kids. Well...unless my best buddy is here. She lives miles away, 4 hours drive.
Anyway, mr. left on monday and I didnt go out mon, tues and wed. Gina came on wednesday night, we stayed home. Yesterday, we finally went out for a drink. We had a Mexican dinner then went to a club. In there, I was again so conscious. I drank quite a lot but not enough.
Carl still likes me a lot. I definitely have no feelings at all. Sometimes I dont understand why he would still like a married woman with 2 kids. Is this really love? Or just because he couldnt have me, he just couldnt let it go? But when I think deeper, I am doing the same, aint I? I still love LOL so much, despite all these bullshits!!!
I actually enjoyed a lot that Mr. is not around. Not only the party part which is just a small portion, but even with my daily life. I dont need to report to anyone, I can do whatever I want, in my own way, at my own pace. Is this a telltale sign asking me to leave? But dont I have all the telltales signs that I need?
Friday, July 25, 2008
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