However, today it's nothing bad. I'm not sad, not depressed. Just that while I was driving home alone yesterday, I remembered this blog. And I thought, how come I have been writing for so long. And then the 'fuck you' thingy came up. Thoughts came in asking why did he said that? What made him hate me so much? What have I done? I on this side of the country missing him so much, and he on the other side hates me like hell.
I have been talking to Zdor lately. He told me a lot about his affair, and how much he loved her. That he has considered leaving the wife for her. But still, he is a husband, nothing was done. It is really not easy to leave a marriage, moreover he has kids.
I asked him, when will he ever hate the girl?
If she goes MIA on him - NO
If she has another man - NO
If she leaves you - NO
The only thing that will make him hate her is when she kills her kid. Ya, that's obvious.
So why is it that he hates me so much? I didnt kill any of his family. Sometimes I really feel like sending him a message asking him what the hell have I done? Have I really hurt him so much, that he doesnt even want to talk to me?
Zdor loves the girls so much that he said he is willing to do anything just for the wife to leave him. I told him don't worry, time will heal. He said it will never heal. I wanted so much to tell him that I have been through that, but I cant.
Yes time can heal... certain part of it. And for me, it took 10 years. I still miss him, I still think of him, but not like before anymore. I will not cry. I will not hide anymore... Just miss him.
