黄昏 - Dawn

sometimes i just hate listening to songs. it reminds me of so many things. it really digs out the deepest memories. that is why i have stopped listening to the songs that i have heard with him. all seemed so clear in mind. last night i bought "sex & the city". i have always loved this show. it taught me a lot of things, that i sometimes wished i had watched it earlier... then maybe i could have made a better decision.

i have always thought that Carrie will never end up with Big. but somehow they did. and Big emailed Carrie, his very last mail read "i know i screwed up, but i will always love you..."

at that very moment, i wanted to message LOL the exact words. but to think of it again, what's the use? why should i? why should i even care after what he said to me? how can i actually still have thoughts about him? what have i done so bad that made him say that 2 words to me?

i really wanted to send him a mail asking him why did i do that made him so mad at me. if it's because i changed my number, it's really stupid. he doesnt know what i have been through. he doesnt know what he had done to me - mentally. i now believe, what hurts most is not the phsyical part, it's the mental part.

bruises and cuts can heal. but the feelings and memory cannot...