How Long More?

I just dont know how long more I can stand. I have been really tolerant all these years. I really dont know how else I can be. I just let him be who he is. I let him go where he wants to go. I allow him to do whatever he wants to do. I always believe that he is old enough to do what is right and able to judge what is wrong. He made a million in 2 weeks. He did not buy anything nice for me. He did not even bring me to a nice dinner. He did not plan to bring me for a holiday. I did not ask anything from him. I respect him, he said he needs those money for our kids. But he lost 2/3 of those. What have I got to say? What is this? He lost so much and yet, I did not ask one question, I did not scold. I did not throw my tantrums on him. I am just so disappointed. He always plans his trips with his friends but never with me. And when I say I wanna go out, he just ask why am I going so many places in a year or so. Why why why? I am just so fed up. He wakes up late, around noon. He goes out with his friends till late at night. Coming back at 1 or 2am is considered early for him. He cannot stay in the house. He complains that I dont bring my kids home to sleep, but when I do, he will leave the house as usual. So what is the point? He expects me to work, take care of the kids, do this, do that, do everything. He expects me to do all housework, and on the hand tells me that I should also support the family. So what is the use of having a husband? What is the use of having him when I can do everything on my own? I told myself... Please dont be too independant. If one day, I feel that I can do everything on my own and not need him, I might make rash decisions. This is not a life that I want. This is not a husband that I want. This is not a father I want for my kids. I'm just a simply lady. All I want is a normal home. A husband who works and love and care, a father who loves and play. I only want a family like my own. A husband like my dad or my brother. Am I asking for too much? Ok, he has been waking up rather late every weekday, so what is the problem with waking up early on weekends? To be with the kids, to bring us out. By the time he wakes up, it's already time for my kids to nap. Is this a family? I am still standing where I am for the sake of my kids. Really. And I know it's sad, but I have tried moving on. I really want to be home, but when he goes out and leaves me alone at home, I feel frustrated and mad. I would rather go back to my mum's house than to sleep alone. How am I suppose to live like this anymore?

My 3 Pals

I have 3 best friends. I know when we use the word best, it usually refers to only one, but who cares.

1) Gina (14 years)
I have actually known her for 14 years. Wow, of course she is my "bestest" buddy. Although we dont see each other very often, we are still best friends. We share everything. I love being with her and I can just do anything beside her. We went to college, then to pre-u, then all the way to Australia and then came back.

We go clubbing together, we dance together. We laughed, we smiled, we cried together. I missed her a lot cause she stays far far away and I only get to see her maybe 4-5 times a year. Sigh.

2) Lynn (12 years)
I always liked her, even before I knew her. Until we went to Australia only did I know her. Even then we were not that close. Just friends. Then when we came back from Australia, we became reall good friends. We started a business together, although it didnt work out, nothing came between us. The failure of the business didnt break our friendship.

We shared a lot. She was the first one whom I told about LOL. She was beside me all the while. I cried in front of her. We talked and shared a lot. We learn and taught each other a lot.

3) Jee (8 years)
We have a lot in common. We share the same surname, the same dialect. I dont share a lot of my personal stuff with her, but we do share other things. She sometimes can be really annoying but still I dont know why I treat her as my best friend. Maybe friends mean having to forgive and forget.

She is someone who will do anything to please you.

There you go, here are 3 of my best buddies. Just a simple something about them. And hopefully we will be friends forever.