Today I woke up late for work. Why?
I was dreaming. I was too involved in the dream. Yes, I was dreaming of LOL. We met up somewhere in Australia. Somehow, I needed to spend a night in his apartment. Nothing happened. I was just lying beside his bed looking at him sleep. In the dream, he told me he has a girlfriend back home. And I can feel the he still loves me.
You must be thinking I'm mad, well, maybe I am. But the feeling was so real. It was as if we were really together. The feeling was so great, it's exactly how I felt when I was with him. At one point in time, I wish I would never wake up. That is the only time and place where I can be so close to LOL.
Sometimes I wonder, why can't we control a dream? If I can do whatever I want in dreams, I would have went over and hugged him so tight. I would have touch every part of him again. I would run into his arms to feel the warmth again...
But then again, it's just a dream...
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Sadness Continues
Just the other, Gina told me she was feeling really down. Does this happen to everyone? Do you out there feel depress once in a while? I do, and I totally understand how Gina felt.
This depressing feeling haunted me for the past 3 years or more. But somehow I have gotten over it. Well, not really, but at least I managed to collect myself and put the pieces of me together again. At one point, I thought I lost myself. Those big pieces were still there, but those small tiny once were blown away, flew together with the wind.
Sometimes I really dont want to say all these, making this blog a depressing one. I cant help it, since young, I loved writing. Whenever I am sad or depress or have thoughts, I will pen it down on paper. Well, knowing the growing technologies, I am typing instead.
Going back to the point, I am trying my very best to stay happy. I have put myself in Mr.'s shoes. I definitely had. I know he is a great guy. Am I asking for too much? I really dont know. I always have this feeling in me, which made me think that I deserve someone better, much better. Someone like LOL.
I still miss him so much. I miss his kisses, miss his touch, miss his hugs, miss his voice, miss his breathe. Will I ever see him again? If I do, what should I do? How should I react? I really want to know how he is now, but I'm too afraid to find out if he is married. I know I sound really selfish, but seriously, I'm not. And I wish I was, then I would have let everything else go, and be with LOL...
This depressing feeling haunted me for the past 3 years or more. But somehow I have gotten over it. Well, not really, but at least I managed to collect myself and put the pieces of me together again. At one point, I thought I lost myself. Those big pieces were still there, but those small tiny once were blown away, flew together with the wind.
Sometimes I really dont want to say all these, making this blog a depressing one. I cant help it, since young, I loved writing. Whenever I am sad or depress or have thoughts, I will pen it down on paper. Well, knowing the growing technologies, I am typing instead.
Going back to the point, I am trying my very best to stay happy. I have put myself in Mr.'s shoes. I definitely had. I know he is a great guy. Am I asking for too much? I really dont know. I always have this feeling in me, which made me think that I deserve someone better, much better. Someone like LOL.
I still miss him so much. I miss his kisses, miss his touch, miss his hugs, miss his voice, miss his breathe. Will I ever see him again? If I do, what should I do? How should I react? I really want to know how he is now, but I'm too afraid to find out if he is married. I know I sound really selfish, but seriously, I'm not. And I wish I was, then I would have let everything else go, and be with LOL...
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