Toleration

Today I had a little chat with Sheling. She just broke up with her boyfriend and told me how much she wanted a happy family. I know, I knew it from the beginning that she is someone just like me. Someone who loves to have a happy and healthy family. The day I got the news bout her divorce I was shocked. But then again, not everyone has the courage to walk out of a marriage... I'm one of them.

And that made me think... well, not because of this that I have such thoughts. It was all these months that made me really mad. I really dont know how long can I tolerate anymore. He is getting from bad to worse. Everything I do seem not right. Sometimes I think what the fuck... Why do I have to give in all the time?

He said that I throw my temper, I always show him a black face. Bloody shit, I have faced his black face for the past so many years. There are just so many things that I dont know how to tell. Everyone seemed to be enemy to him. Why is he like that?

Everytime he goes out, he shows a sour face. And then, he on the other hand says I am the bad one.

He doesnt fucking appreciate what I have done. I threw him a big party, and all he said is to give me a massage for my birthday. He says I'm very fat. I cannot go out with my friends. When I come home, he will show me shit face and say he doesnt mind I go out. What the fuck...

I really dont know how long more I can stand... For the kids sake, I will.