Married

Just now I met up with Chyee for lunch. It has been quite a while since we last had a nice chatting time alone. I have not been seeing her as often as before, due to laziness. Anyway, we ordered our food and started our chat.

5 minutes into our conversation, she told me that LOL is married. I took it alright. Not as bad as I expected. He even had a daughter of 1 year plus. I did not feel sad or anything, but I cannot stop myself from picturing me as the wife. I wonder who this girl is, I wonder how much he loves her, I wonder if he still thinks of me. I wonder...

I remembered telling Chyee once, that if she ever knew LOL is married, don't ever tell me. I don't want to know. Well, it's ok now. I cannot expect him to wait for me for the rest of his life. Life goes on. I am expecting my 2nd one, so what's wrong with him getting married?

He has a daughter. That is what he always wanted. He loves girl. Maybe he grew up in a family with 3 boys siblings. And I know he is going to name her the name his mum wanted - a name his mum wanted for her own daughter, but unfortunately all she had were boys.

I cannot stop imagining how great a father he would be. I cannot stop thinking how nice he would be to the mother of his child. I cannot stop thinking of him. Yes, I know that I shouldn't be doing this and that is why Chyee told me bout this. She thinks that I have gotten over with it. Well, I did get over it, but still he plays an important part in my life. He is someone I can never forget.

Being a mother of 2, I will not do anything to hurt my kids.