It's raining while I am writing this. It's always sadder when it comes to this kind of weather. Anyway, the topic on LOL being a father is still battling in my head now.
For the past few days I have been thinking of him a lot. I have been picturing him as a father. How he would rush home to see his baby. How he would play with his baby. How great a father he is. But actually how true are all these? Am I just imagining or is he really a great dad?
Sometimes I wonder... Does he still think of me? Does he still have a part of me in him? I remember he telling me that for his first girlfriend, he needed 3 years to get through it. He asked me to guess how long it takes for him to get through me. Well, it seems it's not that long after all.
Or, is he married just for the sake of marrying? Not that he loves his wife, but like me & Mr. Just married because of responsibilities, because he knows that I can never be with him again? Am I lying to myself again? Maybe he really loves this girl so much that he has forgotten me so fast.
The first thing when I told Gina about him having a 1 1/2 year-old kid, her response was "So fast?". Hmm, yes I thought so too. The baby would have been born in Year 2004 end, and the wife would have been pregnant in 2004. Wow, that's fast.
Also, I thought to myself. How long did they date? Was it a shot-gun marriage? Does he really love her? Who is this woman? How does she looks like? I needed to know everything... but from who? Why would I want to know all about him? Does it matter? What for?
I am mad. I have put these down why am I starting everything all over again? What is the point? It's so ridiculous. It's a waste of time. Anyhow, this guy will forever be a part in me.
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