The Affair

I'm listening to this song. It brought me back to the affair. It was just a few days after my wedding. He called me after maybe 2 years. Before the wedding I have called him millions of times asking for the 'thing' he wanted to tell me, but everytime the answer I get is 'It's not time yet'.

And he did kept his promise to tell me, but it was too late. He told me he loves me a lot and wanted me badly. I wish I can. I still remember we met in Coffee Bean outside my office. I called Chyee before meeting him. I was not at my best, as I was sick. She asked me to take an hour of leave to go to the salon and buy new clothes. When I saw him, my heart was pounding so hard, I was afraid it might jump out. We sat down, you asked what I wanted, as usual I said anything. I was so so nervous, it felt just like the first date.

When he came out with our drinks, only one word explains us - MAGIC. He ordered my favourite tes, chamomile tea. I've never told him or anyone before. Is this really coincidence? I don't know, but this is not the first time. He bought me 2 pieces of cloth which I loved so much without knowledge of me liking it. Anyway, we talked, very awkward. I love him. Sitting at the opposite chair is like killing me. I feel like sitting in his arms. We exchanged our good byes.

That period I was so confused. I just got married. I told my dad about it. I said I wanted to divorce. He was so calm. I don't blame him, which dad would want to see their precious daughter be in a situation like this. LOL called it off after one month. He thought it was not right. I know it was not right, but that is a feeling we both cannot hold back. He has changed from the day I knew him. He had learnt to like cantonese songs and tried speaking a few words.

At that time, I really wish I was god, to turn back time, at least back a month. At one point in time, I became suicidal too. I know this was wrong, but the feeling of not being with him was like a knife cut through my heart. He told me he would love it if I call or even meet up with him after this break. I told him never, I can never sit opposite him and not touch him, it will kill me.