Every Man's Woman

Yesterday I went to a "rich but not so famous's person's son's full moon. It was so nice. Looking at them made me thought, why was I sitting next to Mr. Well, although he is already a millionaire last 3 years at his 31st birthday, the style and the feel is different. The people sitting there are all multi-millionaires. And then I thought again, I should be living this. If I were to choose LOL, that's what I would be living. Not to mention the money, which is not the most important, but the lifestyle, the bringing up and others.

Mr's family was never what I expected, nothing like my family. What I want is well bringing up. The importance of family. I always know LOL as a great and loving father. I still remember he told me once, he played soccer with the children in the field outside his house, also how he loved his niece who asked him to hug her until she can't breathe. Sometimes, I looked at my son, wishing he was ours, wishing LOL was his father. I know Mr. is trying very hard to be a good father, but he never will be.

He asked me once "How do you know I'm a good father". I just know, it's woman's instinct. I should have learn from the family. They are what their family are. Mr's family is havoc. Not proper. Unlike LOL's, just look at his mum, so elegant and calm. LOL loves his mum, he shares everything with her and thinks she's the coolest mum on earth. They say a man always find a wife like their mum. Well, I'm like his mum. I can be the best wife and mother on earth.

I know LOL will appreciate me so much. Before I was always wondering, always afraid that LOL might not like who I am. I am so wrong, how can anyone not like me? Not self praise but I can assure that most of my guy friends fall in love with me, jsut talking to me. I'm not saying I am very pretty or attractive, it's the feeling and the talking. A lot of people find it comfortable talking to me. I'm just a normal girl with ordinary looks. Even Mr. knows a lot of his friends think me as a good wife.

All the wives out there has been talking about Gucci, LV, Prada, diamonds and stuffs. I never do that, not even when Mr has a lot for me. When we got married, he was earning RM35,000 a month and I didn't even ask for a carat diamond ring, I didn't buy any brandeds. I just thought it's a waste of money. But then again LOL said "If there is no one-carat diamond ring, he doesn't deserve you." At that point I know it's about how much the diamond's worth, but it's the love he has for you. And I know LOL loves me a lot and still does.

I still remember there was once I went missing on him for a week. He was so mad with me, and wanted to end everything. He told me, "You WERE so damn important to me." Tears rolled down my face and I felt so bad to have doubt his love. I know he still loves me, even until today. It's really sad that two people so much in love can only live in regret and shame....